The Endless Ocean
by XpaperplaneX
Summary: Cloud has spent the last five years wondering who he is and where he came from. He's travelled the continents of Enroth and Erathia in search of answers, and now he's arrived in Jadame. An unfortunate accident causes him to wake up with a head injury on board the Black Materia, whose captain is terrifyingly familiar.
1. Chapter 1

_**Title:**_ The Endless Ocean  
><em><strong>Author: <strong>_XpaperplaneX  
><em><strong>Pairings:<strong>_ Sephiroth/Cloud, Tseng/Aerith  
><em><strong>Genre:<strong>_ AU, crossover, romance, adventure  
><em><strong>Warnings:<strong>_ underage  
><em><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>_ I do not own FFVII or Might and Magic and make no money from this work.

Despite all logic, I've decided to post this and hope the pressure inspires me to finish it off in November. This was my Nano project last year, and I totally hit the 50K mark. I've been working on it off and on since then. It's a crossover AU with Might and Magic 8, but I'm hoping it won't matter too much if you haven't played it. *fingers crossed*

XXX

Cloud hefted his sword and looked around the small town that housed the main population of Dagger Wound Islands. Lizard folk were the primary citizens, and their location in Jadame suited them perfectly. The air was hot and muggy, and the ground squished under Cloud's feet if he stepped off the road.

"Got a plan for the night?" his partner in the guard, Kunsel, asked.

"I assume there's an inn," Cloud replied, glancing around. "Did the caravan master say anything to you?"

"Just up the hill over there." Kunsel pointed at a larger raised building up a gentle slope. "It's the only one, apparently."

"That's my plan, then. Want to split a room?"

"Sure, I've got to get my pay still. Meet you there?"

"Sounds good. I'll grab a room before they fill up." Cloud readjusted First Tsurugi and headed up the hill, dodging a couple of lizard children who were chasing a hoop down it.

He got a room for himself and Kunsel, then sat down in the tavern area, pondering what he was going to do next. Jadame was unfamiliar to him, which was why he had signed on with the caravan. It was a good way to travel without incurring a lot of expenses, and he kept hoping that something would jog his memory. He had toured the continents of Erathia and Enroth in the past three years, but neither of them had provided any answers to the mystery of his past. No one had recognized him, and nothing stood out to him, either.

Everything from before five years ago was a complete blank. All he knew was the name of the sword that had been strapped to his back, and that he could use it, though no blacksmith he had spoken to could identify the metal that had been used to forge the strange, six-part blade. He could also use magic, though many of his spells were different from the standard ones the mages here used.

Sighing, he turned to his tankard and took a large drink, draining half of it. There were never any answers at the bottom, but there were often fewer questions.

A deep rumble that seemed to come from somewhere under the earth suddenly drowned out the tavern noise, and then the ground lurched under Cloud's feet, nearly knocking him off his chair. He stumbled to his feet as the entire building shook, the beams overhead swaying dangerously. Screams erupted from outside, and Cloud ran for the door, not wanting to remain inside if the building was going to come down.

Chaos was everywhere in the streets; people were milling about in confusion while the ground continued to quake. A sulphurous smell was in the air, and it stung at his eyes and nose. Glancing up, Cloud saw a thick black cloud of ash erupting from the mountain located in the middle of the island. It was beginning to blot out the sky and Cloud quickly pulled his shirt up to cover his nose and mouth. He saw one of the children he had noticed earlier out in the swampy area; she had fallen and wasn't getting back up as large rocks rained down around her.

Cloud sprinted towards the girl, dodging rocks as he ran, and snatched her up off the ground. "Come on, we've got to get away from here."

The girl clung to him, her sobbing was making anything she might have said incoherent. Cloud turned to go back to the town, but his foot sank into the ground up to his knee and he swore loudly.

"Run to the fountain by the merchant house," Cloud said to the girl, taking her by the shoulders and giving her a shake to make her pay attention. "Stay away from the buildings and look for an adult. Go, quickly now!" He shoved her hard in the direction of the town; the open area around the merchant's house would probably be safest. It seemed like the debris from the volcano wasn't reaching that far, and there was nothing nearby that would fall.

As the girl ran off, Cloud turned his attention to getting himself unstuck. His leg was firmly entrenched in the thick mud that resisted his every effort to pulling it out. He reached for a root from a nearby tree to get some leverage, but something struck the back of his head and the world span. He barely felt the second strike, but he lost his grip on the root and collapsed in the mud.

XXX

"Move him to my cabin and call for Hojo."

Cloud stirred and tried to identify the source of the voice. It was vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place a name to it. Attempting to open his eyes made his skull throb painfully, so he kept the shut and groaned.

"Your cabin, Captain? Why?"

"Just do it, Zack. I don't need to explain myself to you."

The ground lurched under him, and his head throbbed again as the world faded to black once more.

XXX

"Hey, wake up. You've slept long enough, don't you think?"

"Don't shake him. His brain is probably bruised. You'll damage it more if you're rough with him."

"I didn't even touch him. Cloud, wake up."

He was moving. It was a gentle, rolling motion that made his stomach feel like it was going to turn inside out.

"Please stop," he croaked out.

"Stop what?"

"Gonna be sick."

"Shit, I thought you cured yourself of that. Hand me that bucket, would you?"

Cloud felt hands on him, rolling him over and lifting his head.

"Do you know him?"

Puzzling out the different voices proved too strenuous for his current mental capacity and Cloud heaved. Whatever they were saying above him was lost as he emptied the contents of his stomach while someone held his hair out of his face.

Eventually the heaving stopped, and he was settled back onto the bed he was lying on. The rolling motion hadn't stopped, but it wasn't quite as bad as it had been.

"Do you think he's likely to be sick again?"

"It's probable. That head injury is bad, but there's nothing more I can do for it. Make sure he's on his side and give him some water. I still don't understand why you're keeping him here."

"He'll die in the brig, won't he?"

"Most likely."

"That's why, then."

Cloud drifted off to the sounds of the men arguing.

When he woke next he had a vague recollection of someone helping him hover his head over a bucket at various points. Now, however, his head was feeling significantly better, and he bravely cracked his eyes open, squinting in the bright sunlight that was pouring in through a small window next to him. He struggled to sit up and felt something heavy weighing on his left ankle. Glancing down, he realized that he was manacled to the end of the bed.

He took careful stock of his surroundings. The tiny room appeared to be a cabin on a ship, which made sense given that everything was still moving. It was vacant for now. His sword was leaning against the wall in a corner by the door, and a water skin lay on a sea chest next to the bed. He quickly grabbed it, drinking thirstily. When his throat was feeling less parched, he found a chamber pot under the bed, then Cloud took another look at the manacle attached to his ankle.

It was cheap iron, and would be easy enough to break if he weakened it with a frost spell, so the question became whether or not he wanted to get free. A look out the window showed him nothing but the open ocean; escaping wasn't likely to prove very fruitful unless he used magic, and he didn't think that would be a good idea at the moment. It was rather likely that he'd just lose himself in the ether, sick as he was. Besides, his head had been bandaged, and it appeared that he had been cared for while he was out. It was possible that he would be released if he wasn't a threat. He arranged the thin pillow behind his back and leaned against it, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I want to keep the pressure on them. This is the perfect opportunity to expand the empire," a male voice was saying as the door to the cabin banged open, startling Cloud awake. "Oh, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

Cloud couldn't stop staring at the man dressed in black leather armour with long flowing silver hair. He struggled for words, for some way to voice the overwhelming feelings of fear and devotion that were coursing through him.

"Leave us," the man said sharply to the person waiting in the doorway. Cloud caught a glimpse of spiked black hair before the door shut and he was alone with someone out of a long-forgotten nightmare.

"Do I know you?" he whispered, not daring to voice his suspicion any louder than that.

"Cloud ..."

"How do you know my name?"

"The question is, do you know mine?" The man sat down on the edge of the bed, sweeping his hair over his shoulder, and Cloud wasn't sure if he wanted to push himself away or move closer.

He shook his head, wincing at the throbbing pain the movement caused. "No ... should I?"

The man shrugged. "I suppose it's enough that you recognize me. I'm the Lord of Regna, Emperor of the Endless Ocean, Captain of the _Black Materia_." He paused for a long moment before speaking again. "Sephiroth."

Cloud threw himself back against the wall, dragging the chain with him and fighting the urge to throw up again. He knew that name, he was certain he knew it, but he was also certain he didn't want to. "I don't remember."

"I think you do, though I wouldn't blame you if you intentionally forgot it."

"No, no, I don't know who you are." That name invoked nothing but thoughts of pain and suffering. He didn't want to even consider where he might have heard it in the past.

"Your sword ..." Sephiroth looked over at the corner where the blade was standing.

"What about it?

"Do you know its name?"

Cloud nodded, wondering how the man knew it had a name. He hadn't told it to anyone.

"I'm going to write it down, then tell me what you call it. If they match, I'm going to insist that you listen to what I say." He reached for a piece of parchment and tore off a corner, writing something while he was turned away from Cloud. "What's its name?"

"First ... First Tsurugi," he whispered. There was no way that anyone would guess that. No way.

Sephiroth handed him the parchment without changing his expression and Cloud unfolded it with trembling hands. This wasn't what he had hoped for when he went searching for someone who would recognize him. This was all wrong. He turned the parchment over and stared in horror at the words scrawled on it in sharp, angular letters: _First Tsurugi_.

"What do you want from me?"

"Cloud ... my dearest puppet ... I want to start again."

Puppet ... he heard a cruel laugh ringing through his ears, as clear as the sounds of the ship's crew just outside the room. Cloud fought back another bout of nausea that had nothing to do with either the movement of the ship or the blow to his head. How could he have forgotten? Sephiroth, the Nightmare, his old enemy was sitting right next to him and he hadn't done a thing to defend himself.

"I killed you," he whispered, not wanting to believe that the man was back yet again.

"You tried," Sephiroth pointed out. "And I did the same to you on several occasions. But I was hoping we could move past all that."

Cloud shook his head. "No, I killed you. I had to ... you would have destroyed everything ... you killed Aerith."

"Would it help to know that your flower girl is alive and well and living under my protection?"

"I watched you kill her ... and did nothing."

"Cloud." Sadness appeared to creep into Sephiroth's expression, and his hand reached out towards Cloud, but stopped when he jerked away. "I don't know what happened, or why we're here. I suspect that the Lifestream finally had enough of us and our constant battles. But we're all here, on Enroth, even the people who died. You were the last one I was looking for."

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, feeling bewildered. Who all was here?

"I'm going to get you something to eat," Sephiroth finally said after staring at him for several moments, "and I'll tell you what I've been doing for the last five years. Then you can decide if you want to pick up where we left off or not. Try to remember as much as you can while I'm getting your food."

XXX

Sephiroth shut the door quietly behind him, allowing himself to lean against it and breathe a small sigh of relief. Cloud remembered. Maybe not everything, not yet, but something was better than nothing. The years he had spent hoping to find someone who remembered Gaia and Shinra and SOLDIER had been the loneliest he had ever experienced. Seeing people he had once called his comrades ... or his enemies, but having them remember nothing was painful, even if it was also for the best.

"Captain! Are you done talking to the prisoner yet?" Zack's long spikes of black hair were swept to one side by the wind, and his armour was different from a SOLDIER's uniform, but he otherwise appeared to be the exact same man whose death Sephiroth had inadvertently caused.

"He's not a prisoner," Sephiroth said quietly. Regardless of what Cloud decided, Sephiroth wasn't going to hold him against his will. "I need to get him some food."

"The fact that you ordered him chained says something different. Sir, what's going on? You've never treated a prisoner like this before." Zack's face was clouded over with worry. "Do you know him?"

"I knew him a long time ago. Whether or not I still know him ..." Sephiroth shrugged and pushed himself away from the door. "Have you contacted the rest of the fleet?"

"I sent a message to Lockhart's ship; she's establishing a supply line for the ships at Dagger Wound. She'll relay the information to the rest. "

"Good. I want to begin building an outpost on that western island by the time the week is out. That volcano was the opportunity we were waiting for. I'd hate to not take advantage of it. And I need you to stay on deck for a while longer. I'm not done talking with ... the prisoner yet." Sephiroth made his way down to the ship's galley and yelled for a meal. Zack still followed him closely with his eyes, but didn't attempt to talk about his strange behaviour again.

When he opened the door to his cabin again, Cloud frantically wiped at his face with the back of his hands.

"How's your memory?" Sephiroth asked while he set the tray of food down on the sea chest and took a seat.

"Probably still messed up from Nibelheim and you fucking with me," he said shortly.

Sephiroth thought that was rather unfair—he had only ever attempted to tell Cloud the truth. But he didn't argue. Arguing wouldn't suit his purposes. "Eat," he said instead, gesturing at the tray. "Might as well take advantage of the fresh rations while we've got them."

"This is a long journey, I take it?" Cloud grabbed the tray and sniffed at it before he began to shovel food into his mouth.

"Actually no. We should arrive in Regna tomorrow in the late afternoon. I suppose I'm just used to saying that. I only came out because I wanted to see what was happening on Dagger Wound for myself. I'm glad I did, however. Zack would have thrown you in the brig. If he had rescued you at all."

"Zack?" Cloud choked on a crust of bread and spent several moments coughing. "Zack Fair?"

"He's my Quartermaster, and he takes over as Captain when I can't be on the ship, which is most of the time."

"Zack's alive?"

"He is. I ... I always regretted his death you know. I never intended ..."

"You stabbed him," Cloud said coldly. "What exactly did you intend?"

"Point taken." Sephiroth sighed, wondering how he was ever going to convince Cloud to work with him. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't remembered. A sleek white cat crawled out from beneath the bed and stretched, yawning widely. "Hello, Rufus." He patted his lap and the cat jumped up and began grooming itself.

"Rufus?"

"It didn't seem likely that he ended up here as well, though some of the Turks are, but the cat needed a name. If I meet him one day and he takes offense, well ... tough." Sephiroth shrugged. "Dark Nation should be around somewhere."

"You said you were going to tell me what you've been doing. How'd you wind up the Lord of Regna?"

"Simple." Sephiroth picked the cat up and set it down on the bed, then crossed his legs and smiled at Cloud. "I decided that destroying the world was not in my best interests. I'm going to rule it instead."

"Oh?"

"Well," Sephiroth hesitated, seeing the look on Cloud's face, "at least a corner of it. When I found myself here, I joined the Regnan Navy as a way to survive. Given my skills, it wasn't long until I was noticed by the lord at the time, the Dread Pirate Stanley. When he retired three years ago, I was given command of the empire and the fleet. I came across Zack when I was sailing under Stanley, and after I convinced him I wasn't crazy, we became friends again. He's had my back ever since."

Cloud snorted loudly. "How'd you manage that? Convincing him you're not crazy, that is."

"I'm not, Cloud. You've proved it. As for ... what happened, I truly am sorry. Mother ... Jenova ... she doesn't even know who I am. There's nothing for me here except a chance to start over."

"Jenova's here?"

Sephiroth nodded. "She lives in Regna without a clue as to who or what she was. Still entirely evil, mind you, but she's just an ordinary woman. She's a grandmaster of dark magic and teaches anyone brave enough to seek her out."

"I'm sorry. It must be hard having her not know you." Cloud's voice held a wistful tone, and Sephiroth moved over to the bed, laying his hand lightly on Cloud's arm.

"Don't be. You know it's for the best. It's just been lonely."

"Yeah, I know what that's like." Cloud reached out and touched a strand of Sephiroth's hair almost absently, like he didn't fully realize what he was doing. "You want me to join you, don't you?"

"Everyone else has."

"You're leading an empire of pirates."

"Tax collectors. And Regna itself is a rather nice place. Is it really any more immoral than a council of necromancers? Or the dragon hunters? How about Erathia's constant attempts to wipe out the elves and take their lands? This world is different from Gaia, Cloud. You know it. There's no single faction that has power over all the others. I'm just one of the many factions."

Sephiroth sat quietly and waited while Cloud appeared to think it over, still playing with the strand of his hair. It reminded him of how Cloud used to like to touch it when he was a cadet in Shinra's army, and he wondered if Cloud remembered any of that. He rather doubted it. Those memories had probably been locked away after the incident at Nibelheim, never to resurface. He had certainly shown no sign of remembering while he was with AVALANCHE. Although, feelings that had once existed could certainly develop again.

"I want to see Zack," Cloud said, breaking the silence. "And Aerith."

"All right, Aerith is in Regna as well, but keep in mind, neither of them remember a thing. And Zack is ... perhaps a little different than you remember. I wasn't lying when I said he would have thrown you in the brig with a severe head injury."

"That's not something Zack would do."

"It is now. He's not the only one who's changed, I think, but I knew him the best. Anyway, you can see him, and perhaps you'll understand a little better what I mean."

Cloud nodded slowly and let go of Sephiroth's hair to pet the cat instead. "Will you take this chain off me?"

"Oh, yes, sorry. I forgot about that." Sephiroth rummaged through his desk for the key. "It was just a precaution. I didn't want you attacking me the instant you woke up."

"My head hurts too much for that." Cloud cracked a small smile and rubbed his ankle as soon as the chain was removed.

"Why don't you rest a bit for now? Zack isn't going anywhere."

"Yeah, all right, this has been kind of draining." Cloud moved back down on the bed and curled up on his side; Rufus immediately planted himself in the crook behind Cloud's knees, and Sephiroth noticed a black head peeking out from under the bed. It wouldn't be too long until Dark Nation would be making himself comfortable against Cloud's belly.

"Rest well, Cloud," he said softly as he let himself out of the cabin.


	2. Chapter 2

I meant to post this on a somewhat regular schedule. I also meant to work on finishing it this month. None of that happened and I blame Final Fantasy 14 in its entirety. It's a bad, bad game and you should never play it.

XXX

The window was dark when Cloud woke again, but Sephiroth was sitting at his desk with an oil lamp burning above him.

"What time is it?" Cloud asked.

"Two hours into red watch." Sephiroth finished whatever he was doing and lay down the bit of charcoal he was holding before moving over to the bed.

"That means nothing to me."

"It's around eight pm. How do you feel?"

"Better than I was. Kind of hungry, though."

Sephiroth nodded. "Feeling up to leaving the bed? Zack's probably in the galley if you want to see him."

"Yeah, I want to. Can I ... I don't suppose there are bathroom facilities on board, are there?"

He imagined that the way Sephiroth laughed might have been how he laughed before Nibelheim, though Cloud couldn't imagine ever having met him before that. Still, it was a pleasant laugh, with none of the cruel undertones that Cloud remembered. "No, and I don't trust your balance at the moment to not fall overboard out on the craplines, either. Use the chamber pot for now. I'll wait outside for you."

Cloud wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know what a crapline was, and found himself feeling very glad that he had mostly avoided ships during his travels. Even the chamber pot was unpleasant now that he remembered the more modern facilities on Shinra's ships.

Sephiroth was leaning against the railing looking out over the sea when Cloud stepped out of the cabin. He breathed in the fresh sea air with a sigh of relief before taking a look around. The ship was far bigger than he had expected. There were at least twice as many crew on the deck as he had ever seen on the passenger ships he had taken, and they all seemed to be hard at work on tasks that Cloud only had the vaguest idea about. The ship itself was spotless and looked well-maintained; he doubted there was so much as a single rope out of place.

"Does my ship pass the inspection?" Sephiroth asked dryly.

"Why's the crew so big?"

"Some people dislike paying taxes. A large, heavily armed crew encourages cooperation."

"Ah, of course." Cloud shook his head, unsurprised by the answer. He still wasn't sure what Sephiroth's game was. He didn't seem reformed, exactly, but he certainly wasn't the same man who had tried to destroy the planet.

"Come, let's go find Zack."

The galley was loud and full of activity. Instead of working, however, these crew members were eating, drinking, and gambling. A man stood and shouted as they entered, and Cloud's heart nearly stopped at the sight of him. He was a bit older, with a few more scars, but Zack looked the same as he had all those years ago.

"He doesn't remember you," Sephiroth said firmly, then pushed Cloud towards the table. "Someone bring us something to eat," he shouted as he sat down, pushing Cloud onto the bench next to him.

"You're letting him walk around?" Zack asked without even looking at Cloud.

"Yes. This is Cloud Strife," Sephiroth said. "Cloud, Zack Fair."

Cloud hesitantly offered his hand, feeling more nervous than he had when he first met Zack as a cadet. "Nice to meet you, sir."

Zack stared at him for a moment before roughly grabbing his hand and giving it a cursory shake. "Captain, can I talk to you?"

"Go ahead." Two trays were set down on the table in front of them and Sephiroth grabbed a fork and began eating.

"Privately."

"No. Cloud's an old acquaintance. Are you planning on killing me in my sleep?" he asked, turning to Cloud.

Cloud gulped and glanced over at Zack before answering. "Not tonight."

"Sabotaging the ship?"

"I wouldn't know where to begin."

"Stealing a smallboat and heading for land?"

"Only if you tell me which way land is first."

"It's fine, Zack."

"So you might kill him tomorrow night and would sabotage the ship or take the chance to escape if you were competent? Good friend you are."

"I never said he was my friend. Just let him be." Sephiroth shoved half a potato into his mouth at once with a sort of finality meant to end the conversation.

"I probably won't kill you tomorrow night, either. Unless you try to kill me first."

"See?" Sephiroth said around the potato.

Zack glared in a way that made Cloud's heart ache. Sephiroth had been right; Zack seemed different than he used to be. The man he knew would have made a joke about his responses, even if he didn't trust him. Still, he could tell that Zack was concerned about Sephiroth. He wondered what they had been through together, and what Zack's new life as a pirate had been like.

"Where are you from?" Zack asked suddenly.

He started to answer automatically, recalling their conversation in the snow about their hometowns' strange names. The sharp pain in his thigh when Sephiroth pinched him brought him back to his senses. "White Cap," he said, thinking of the small snowy town in Enroth that had reminded him of Nibelheim.

Zack scoffed loudly and turned away from him.

"My head's really hurting," he whispered to Sephiroth, "can I go lie down again?"

Sephiroth looked at him and nodded, seeming to understand that he just needed to get away. "Go on. You can take your tray with you if you're still hungry."

"Sure you don't want to have Hojo look at him again?"

The tray tumbled out of Cloud's hands and landed with a loud clatter, spilling its contents everywhere. A chorus of cheers and clapping broke out. "Hojo?" He couldn't be here, he wasn't, he—

Sephiroth grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the galley, leaving the mess as it was. Cloud stumbled, attempting to keep up with Sephiroth's pace, but his mind was reeling in horror and he couldn't focus.

"He's here?"

"Shut up," Sephiroth snarled. He kept his tight grip on Cloud's arm until they were back in his cabin with the door shut. "He's here, and he's on this ship. Don't make any more of a fuss about it."

"No, no, no. He's dead. Sephiroth, please, we killed him. Tell me he's dead."

"Sorry." Sephiroth face softened and he gently nudged him onto the bed and sat next to him. "If it makes you feel any better, I reacted about the same way. Which means that Zack's going to be really suspicious now."

"Why is he here? On the _ship_? Shit! Did he do anything to me? Zack said 'again', didn't he?" Cloud found himself fighting back tears and nausea for the second time that day. He had an almost overwhelming urge to strip and check himself for new scars.

Sephiroth wrapped both arms around him and pinned him to his chest. "Calm down. I didn't leave you alone with him, and I didn't let him do anything but deal with your head. As for why he's here, he's the ship's doctor. I hired him so I could keep an eye on him."

"A doctor? He's a _doctor_? One that _helps_ people? I think I'd like to subscribe to your theory that the Lifestream's fucking with us."

"It's not without its merits. On the bright side, he shows very few signs of being a mad scientist apart from an unnatural curiosity regarding breeding monsters."

Cloud had to laugh at the utter bizarreness of the situation. Hojo was alive, Zack didn't like him, and Sephiroth was sitting next to him and hugging him while offering what little comfort he could. "Remind me to never wish for anything ever again. And if I get hit on the head again and forget everything, don't remind me."

"I think I might ask the same thing of you."

"Deal."

XXX

Cloud found a spot up near the front of the ship that seemed to be mostly out of the way of the sailors who were working hard as they approached land. He had managed to catch Sephiroth for a moment to ask about the strangely coloured mist that they had passed through. It was apparently Aerith's doing, but he didn't get any further explanation. Sephiroth was just as busy as the rest of the crew, keeping the ship from running aground on any of the numerous sandbars that Cloud noticed on either side of the deep channel they were navigating. Wrecked hulls littered the area surrounding the Island of Regna, and Cloud wondered if the island had been chosen as a base because of how difficult it was to get to.

When he first saw land, Cloud had thought their journey was nearly over, but it wasn't until several hours later that they finally lowered the anchors in the harbour. Cloud listened as Sephiroth gave half the crew permission to go ashore at a time. Zack would be taking the _Black Materia_ out again in two days' time, and the sailors all had to be ready to leave again by then.

Finally, Sephiroth motioned Cloud over and helped him board one of the little wooden boats that were tied to the sides of the ship. Zack went with them, and Cloud couldn't help but feel that it was out of concern for Sephiroth. The man had looked apoplectic with rage at the sight of First Tsurugi on his back when Cloud left the cabin in the morning. Cloud himself had to overcome a wave of fear when he saw Sephiroth carrying Masamune. It was all he could do to keep from drawing his sword to defend himself. At least he hadn't actually seen Hojo, though he had kept a fearful eye out for him, probably to the great amusement of the crew.

Two men rowed the little boat to the dock, where several people were waiting to help them ashore. Sephiroth was greeted with a reserved cordiality, while Cloud lowered his head under the curious stares. Zack, on the other hand, received numerous friendly slaps on the back and shouted demands to know how long he was staying this time, and if he'd be joining them in the tavern. Zack neatly avoided promising anything; it seemed like he was going to stick by Sephiroth's side until he was forced to leave.

"People seem to really like you," Cloud noted quietly. He wasn't sure what he had expected after meeting Zack the previous night, but seeing him acting like he used to in SOLDIER came as a surprise. It made the fact that Zack didn't like or trust him hurt even more.

Zack glanced at him, as though he was surprised that Cloud had dared to even speak to him, but looked away again without a word.

"We'll go up to the keep," Sephiroth said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Cloud was sure it was meant to get him walking in the right direction, but the little squeeze Sephiroth gave him felt encouraging as well.

As they walked, Cloud took in his surroundings. The docks they had come ashore on were quite small, but Cloud could see another set across the harbour where most of the crew that had left the ship had gone.

"Quit gawking." Cloud saw Zack's hand coming towards his head, but didn't have a chance to react before Sephiroth casually swatted it away.

"I told you to leave him be. I haven't blindfolded him; he's free to look. And don't hit his head. That's an order."

Sephiroth proceeded to ignore Zack's protesting grumbles, and instead began pointing out some of the features of the island. "It's actually two islands," he said, indicating the one they were on and the land across the harbour. The larger of the two is crescent shaped; you'll be able to see a bit of the shape from the top of the hill. There are a few villages on it, and the majority of the people live there. This island houses the keep, which was finished six years ago, along with our main trading centre."

"What are those buildings?" Cloud pointed to two large stone buildings that appeared to be on the ends of the crescent-shaped island. They were smaller than the keep Sephiroth had pointed out, but still significantly larger than any other building.

"The old keeps. Mostly abandoned, but perhaps not as much as we'd like the world to believe."

"Sephiroth!"

"Sorry, Zack." Sephiroth smiled widely. "Perhaps I am getting a bit carried away. You haven't agreed to work with me yet."

Cloud frowned at the confidence with which Sephiroth had added on the 'yet'. Though it seemed fairly unlikely that his confidence was misplaced. Where else was he going to go, especially now that he had the answers he had been looking for? He didn't think he could go back to being a caravan guard again. "When can I see ... her?"

"Is tomorrow soon enough?"

Cloud shook his head. He needed to see Aerith. It was one thing for Sephiroth to tell him she was alive, but he wouldn't believe it until he had seen for himself. "I don't need to speak to her or anything, just ..."

"All right." Sephiroth turned down a side street, away from the main road that headed up to the keep.

"Where are you going?" Zack asked, following them doggedly.

"To see Aerith; I've got some new seeds for her. Why don't you go up to the keep?"

"No, I'll stay with you."

"It wasn't a suggestion, Zack. Go."

Cloud almost felt badly when he saw the look on Zack's face before he turned away, going back the way they had come. He wanted to offer some sort of reassurance, though he knew it wouldn't do any good.

"Give him time," Sephiroth said quietly, taking Cloud by the hand and continuing to guide him through a maze of streets. "He's just worried. I was always a bit more subtle when I came across the others. And I don't normally keep secrets from him."

"That he knows of."

"Exactly. There, up ahead. That's her house."

Cloud tore his thoughts away from Zack and looked where Sephiroth was pointing. It was a small house, but there was a large garden in the front, full of flowers, just the way she would have liked it.

"Do you want to talk to her?"

"I—What would I say?" There was nothing he _could_ say without sounding insane. And Cloud wasn't quite sure he trusted himself to not start crying the instant he saw her.

"Do you want to wait here while I go talk to her?" Sephiroth asked, touching his cheek gently. "You'll be able to see her, at least."

He found himself nodding, although he wasn't even certain he would be able to cope with that much. Maybe waiting until tomorrow would be better.

"Okay, wait here, I won't be long." Sephiroth was gone before Cloud could change his mind, moving towards the house with the flowers with long strides that covered the distance quickly.

The door was opened by a man with shoulder-length black hair, and Cloud did a double-take, realizing that it was Tseng. Did he live with her? Sephiroth appeared to chat with him for a few moments, then Tseng went inside and Aerith appeared in his place. From the distance he was at, it seemed as though she hadn't changed in the slightest from the day Cloud had lowered her into the lake in the Forgotten City.

It looked like Sephiroth was luring her outside, taking small steps backwards while continuing their conversation. She followed him trustingly, though every nerve in Cloud's body was screaming at him to get her away. She laughed at something Sephiroth said, twirling her braid around her fingers like she always used to do. When Sephiroth pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her, Cloud heard her shriek of delight. She threw her arms around his neck and lifted her feet, make Sephiroth stagger slightly from the sudden weight on him.

All too soon, she was waving goodbye and going back inside as Sephiroth turned away and started walking back towards him.

"Cloud?" Sephiroth was looming over him, and Cloud realized that he was on the ground, his knees apparently having given out from under him. "Are you all right?"

Cloud tried to nod, but Sephiroth had knelt down and was holding his chin, wiping away what he realized were tears. "I—"

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth whispered, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. "I'm so sorry."

"Liar!" Cloud choked out. "You knew exactly how much she meant to us when you killed her."

"I did ... even more than preventing her from using Holy, I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to take away your hope."

Hearing Sephiroth admit that, while at the same time attempting to comfort Cloud, was suddenly too much to bear. He shoved Sephiroth away and staggered to his feet. "What are you playing at here?" he shouted. "You rescued me and want me to work with you, but you still called me your puppet! You've got all my friends, _my_ friends on your side, and you're turning them against me!

"Hojo's still—he's—and Aerith! Does Tseng keep her under guard for you? Is that what you meant by 'under your protection'?"

"Calm down, Cloud. You're still injured."

"Why the hell do you care? Why not just take advantage of it and kill me now? Or is it more fun to mess with my head for a while first?"

"That's unfair," Sephiroth said quietly, a drastic contrast to Cloud's shouting. "Please, come up to the keep. Don't do this here."

"I just—I just—" Cloud's anger suddenly deflated as the pain in his head grew. He glanced around at the crowd of people he had attracted and felt his face turn red in shame. Sephiroth wasn't supposed to be the reasonable one.

He followed when Sephiroth tugged on his arm, leading him back the way they had come and up the winding path to the keep. The solid stone structure was bleak and imposing, giving the impression that if he went in, he'd never leave again. He couldn't find the will to resist, however, and followed his old enemy inside. He thought he caught a glimpse of Zack as they walked, but hoped the man wouldn't approach them again. He couldn't cope, not now.

Eventually, Sephiroth opened the door to a large room and pushed Cloud inside, closing the door behind them.

"Did you get it all out, or was there anything else you'd like to discuss?" Sephiroth asked coldly. "I realize that you don't have quite the same audience here, but perhaps I could invite a few people in so you can undermine my authority a little more effectively."

"Fuck off." Cloud turned away and went to sit down on the deep bench by the room's tiny window. He wasn't about to allow Sephiroth to make him feel guilty on top of everything else.

"Fine." Sephiroth was gone before Cloud had quite registered that he was leaving, and he heard a key turning in the lock as soon as the door was shut.


	3. Chapter 3

Sephiroth could have kicked himself as soon as he locked the door. Wasn't that exactly what he had told himself he wouldn't do? He couldn't even blame Cloud for his outburst. Although he had been caught off guard by it, it had been too much to hope that Cloud would just accept everything without a problem. And yet he couldn't bring himself to open the door and try again. Instead he made his way down to the main hall, where he found Zack engaged in a card game with Yuffie.

"Hi, boss," Yuffie said cheerfully as she pulled a pile of coins over to her side of the table. "Want to play, too? Zack's running out of money to give me."

"I'd like to think that I know better than to play Arcomage with you." He poured himself a mug of ale and sat down, picking up Zack's deck. "But what the hell, what are the win conditions?"

Yuffie grinned and quickly explained the rules and how much it would cost him. "Zack says that you're acting weird."

"Yuffie!"

"Well, you did! So tell me, Sephiroth, what's going on with your prisoner? Someone said he was screaming at you in the streets."

Sephiroth pondered how to answer while he studied his cards. After staring at his feeble magic reserves, he played a Pearl of Wisdom and took an extra counter before adding to his tower. "First, he's not my prisoner."

"So where is he now? Wandering around?"

"No, he's in the room next to mine."

"Are you sure?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes; Yuffie's method of questioning always forced out answers that he didn't really want to give. "Yes, I locked him in. He's upset right now, and I don't want him having free run of the place." He glanced over at Zack and offered him a small smile. "I'm not entirely sure he won't decide to stab me in the back."

"Can he?" Zack asked quietly. "I've never seen anyone who can even come close to defeating you. That's a nasty looking sword he's carrying, but he doesn't look that strong."

"He can. He's done it before. You should see him fight; it's the most beautiful thing."

"So you've got this guy who isn't your prisoner but you've locked up anyway, who can beat you in a fight, and might want to kill you ... why? Also, that was a Dragon I just played. I won, so pay up."

Sephiroth frowned at the cards; how had she gotten enough beasts to play a Dragon? He hadn't really been paying attention, but he didn't think Yuffie would cheat with _him_. Shrugging, he dropped the coins into her outstretched hand. "We knew each other a long time ago. We were quite close at one point, though he doesn't remember that. I hurt him ... badly. I regret it now, but at the time ... he has every right to hate me. I want to make it up to him, though. I miss him."

Yuffie sucked in a long, loud breath before whispering as loudly as she could, "Were you _lovers_?"

Zack dropped his mug with a clatter, ignoring the beer spreading over the floor. "What? Were you?"

"He doesn't remember," Sephiroth said firmly.

"I knew it!" Yuffie shouted triumphantly, causing numerous heads to swivel towards them. "I always guessed that you had some tragic love in your past. I mean, you could have anyone, women or men, but—"

"Oh, shut up, it was hardly tragic," Sephiroth snapped. "We were together, I hurt him, he was injured and lost his memory, and I hurt him some more."

"That's the definition of tragic!" Yuffie gasped again and bounced excitedly. "Did you cheat on him with Ms. Gainsborough? Zack said you went to see her."

"No, I didn't cheat on him!"

"But it has something to do with her?"

"That's enough of this conversation." Sephiroth snatched up a handful of coins and got up from the table. "I won that round."

"You did not, you cheater—oh." Yuffie's eyes went wide as she noticed something behind Sephiroth's back.

Sephiroth slowly turned around to face Cloud, whose face was as pale as a sheet. "Cloud ..."

"We were—" Cloud spun on his heel and bolted back up towards the sleeping quarters.

"Maybe if you're going to lock up your ex-lover who doesn't know that you're ex-lovers, and then discuss the fact that you're ex-lovers, you should put him in the dungeon or something. You know, for next time."

"Yuffie ..." Sephiroth snarled.

"Yes? But in all seriousness, you should go after him."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Zack asked, picking up his own massive sword from its resting spot against the table.

"No. And don't let anyone disturb us. No matter what." Sephiroth walked quickly in the direction Cloud had gone, hoping that it wouldn't come down to a fight between them.

The door appeared to have had the hinges snapped in half. Sephiroth could see the marks from the ice spell Cloud had used to weaken the metal. At the moment, however, the door had been placed back in the frame.

"Cloud?" he called out, tapping on the door very gently to avoid knocking it in.

"Don't come in." It sounded like Cloud was directly on the other side of the door, probably sitting against it to keep him out.

"All right, I won't come in, but can we talk?" There was no response, but Sephiroth chose to take it as a good sign. "Is the door going to fall in if I lean against it?"

"No."

"Okay, good." Sephiroth sat down with his back resting against the door. He felt it give a little, and then Cloud seemed to push back, adjusting for the added weight. "I don't really know where to start, so I'm going to begin with the easy stuff, if that's all right with you."

Again there was no response, so Sephiroth continued. "Aerith is married to Tseng. They were together before I met them here, and they got married last year. She's expecting."

"She's having a baby?"

"She only just found out, but yes."

"Does he ... does he treat her well?"

"As far as I know, they're very happy together."

"That's good. That's ... that's good. I wish ... I wish I could see her. You know, talk to her and say congratulations and all that, but she'd just think I'm crazy, wouldn't she?"

"We can work something out. As long as you're willing to be patient, you can be friends with her again."

"Just don't start crying the moment I see her, right?" Cloud laughed half-heartedly.

"It would probably help."

"You just made that up, right? About us? You needed something convincing to tell Yuffie."

Sephiroth hesitated; it would be so easy to tell Cloud that yes, he had made it up. It would probably be a lot easier on him. At the same time, however, Sephiroth wanted him to know. "No," he said gently, "it was the truth."

"Bullshit," Cloud said in a shaking voice after several long moments of silence. "We never met before the mission to Nibelheim. And I wouldn't have ... not after that."

"No, not after, but before ... I found you on the roof of the Shinra building one night when you were a cadet. You had been beaten up and had taken refuge up there."

XXX

It looked like the storm warning would prove correct, but the weather wasn't too bad yet, and for the time being, the steady rain felt good on Sephiroth's face as he paced back and forth across the gravel. He liked coming up to the roof, especially when it was raining. It helped him recover from the stress of his work as the new commander of SOLDIER.

"Who's there?" Sephiroth turned towards a soft sound behind him and caught a glimpse of a small figure making a break for the door back down. He didn't even have to try to catch up; the boy was obviously unenhanced, and he easily caught him, grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him around.

"I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to be up here, but it's the only place to go. Please don't tell my CO," the boy babbled while trembling uncontrollably. He was soaked through, and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. He was also sporting a fat lip and several cuts and bruises on his face.

"What happened to you?" Sephiroth asked, not letting go of the boy's arm.

"Nothing, sir. It's nothing."

Sephiroth rubbed his thumb over a large cut over the boy's eyebrow, smearing blood over his forehead that was quickly washed away by the rain. "That needs stitches if you're not going to heal it. Name and rank?"

"C-Cloud Strife, sir. I'm just a cadet." The boy's teeth were chattering and he still hadn't stopped shaking.

Sephiroth nodded in understanding. Cadets didn't have access to materia, which explained why the boy hadn't healed his injuries. "Do you want me to take you to the infirmary?"

Cloud shook his head, wincing in pain. "They'll make me fill out a report."

"Is that an issue?" When the boy nodded, but didn't elaborate any further, Sephiroth sighed in frustration. "Come with me, then. You're freezing." He pulled Cloud towards the door and dragged him down the stairwell. He didn't want to have to explain why he had an injured cadet in tow, so he avoided the elevator and took the stairs all the way down to the forty-eighth floor.

"Where are we going, sir?" Cloud asked when they emerged onto the SOLDIER's residence floor.

"My apartment. If you're refusing to go to the infirmary, and have taken to hiding on the roof instead, I assume that you're not going back to your bunk, either. I can't knowingly leave you out in weather like that." He tapped his keycard at his door and pushed Cloud inside. "Wait there," he said as he shut the door, "I'll find a change of clothes for you." Sephiroth stripped off his coat and boots, then grabbed a towel from the linen closet and tossed it to the boy. "Don't worry about getting blood on it."

"Thank you, sir."

Sephiroth quickly dried off and changed, then found a pair of sweats and a T-shirt that might fit Cloud's small frame. "Here, you can use the bathroom over there to change."

While Cloud was changing, Sephiroth pulled out his cure materia and bangle. "Take a seat at the table," he said when the boy emerged from the bathroom. He was holding a wad of toilet paper to his forehead. "I'll heal you up."

"Please don't," Cloud said in a panicked voice. "They'll know someone helped me."

"'They' being whoever did this to you?"

"Ye-yes."

"Stupid," Sephiroth hissed, throwing the bangle down. "Sit down, that's an order."

Cloud sat immediately, though he looked terrified. Sephiroth stormed over to his storage closet and rummaged around until he came up with his first aid kit. He snatched the toilet paper away from Cloud and pressed a piece of gauze to his forehead instead.

"This is going to scar, I hope you know, and I can't stitch it for you."

"I'm sorry."

Sephiroth sighed and tried to quell his anger; the boy wasn't the one who had done something wrong, and he couldn't blame him for being afraid. He had done a lot of stupid things out of fear of Hojo. "Just hold still; I need to disinfect it."

Cloud sat as still as a statue while Sephiroth applied the disinfectant to his cuts, then taped the largest ones closed. He dabbed at the cut on Cloud's lip, and then got up to get an icepack for it.

"There," he said gently, brushing some hair out of the boy's eyes, "that will help the swelling go down."

"Thank you, sir."

XXX

"You started looking for me on the roof after that. Usually when you were having a hard time. I'd patch you up and give you a place to hide for a while. Sometimes you spent the night when you were too afraid to go back to your bunk. Eventually you began coming up even if things were fine. I liked having someone who just needed me to be there for them. You never asked me to do anything about the people who hurt you ... you never wanted anything except a hug and a bit of encouragement. Still there?"

"Yeah." Cloud's voice was barely audible. "I'm listening."

"Any of this ringing a bell?"

"I always ... I could never remember how I got the scar on my forehead. Keep talking?"

"I can do that." Sephiroth readjusted his position against the door and shut his eyes, taking himself back to those years. "I grew to hate leaving on missions. I worried constantly about you while I was gone. But at the same time, I loved how happy you were to see me when I returned."

XXX

Sephiroth paced anxiously on the roof, his boots beating out a worn path in the gravel. Cloud knew he had come back today, right? Had something happened to him while he was gone? He had almost convinced himself to go look for him—he could think up some excuse to check in on the cadets—when the door banged open and Cloud burst through. He was clutching something tightly in his hand and ran over as soon as he saw Sephiroth, throwing his arms around his chest.

"You're here! Guess what?"

"What?" Sephiroth asked, laughing. It was rare to see Cloud looking so happy.

"I won an award! Look!" Cloud let go to show him what he was holding. It was a small trophy in the shape of Shinra's logo with a plaque on the bottom. It read: _Best First Year Cadet, Cloud Strife._

"That's wonderful, Cloud," Sephiroth said genuinely, taking the trophy to admire it. "I'm proud of you."

"They gave it to me during our morning parade today! Along with a cheque for two hundred gil!"

"What are you going to buy with it? You should get yourself something special."

"Oh man, I haven't even thought about that yet. I've just been so excited to tell you all day!" Cloud jumped up and wrapped his arms tightly around Sephiroth's neck.

Sephiroth carefully set the trophy down on a vent and hoisted Cloud up, hugging him tightly. He froze, however, when Cloud pressed his lips to Sephiroth's.

"I'm sorry," Cloud gasped and began to squirm to get out of Sephiroth's grip. "I was just—I was—"

"Shh," Sephiroth whispered, not letting go, "you were caught up in the moment." He bent his head down and kissed Cloud again. He wasn't entirely sure what he was thinking, but he wanted to show Cloud that it was all right. When Cloud began hesitantly kissing him back, Sephiroth hoisted him up a little bit higher and gently pressed his tongue between his lips.

XXX

"Things escalated from there. Kissing became a regular thing, then we started touching each other when you'd sleep over at my place, then it was a lot more than just touching ..."

"Did anybody know?"

"No, we kept it a secret from everyone. I thought of you as my own, and I didn't want to share you with anyone else. And—I never acknowledged it, but I think a part of me knew that it was wrong. I was nearly a decade older than you, not to mention the difference in our ranks. But I didn't want to give you up. I did genuinely love you."

"After you came back, I was going through some of the wreckage of the tower. My personal effects had been put into storage. I found a metal box with my name and ID on it."

"That's right," Sephiroth said, recalling the old procedure, "they did that when someone was killed or missing in action. They held them for ten years or until a relative retrieved them."

"You didn't ... you didn't have anything to do with those awards, did you? It was just a stupid cadet thing. You wouldn't have known, unless ..."

"It wasn't stupid." Sephiroth was surprised at the vehemence in his voice, but he couldn't keep himself from saying it. Not when the memory of the young man who was so proud of himself was fresh in his mind. "You worked damn hard for that award, and you deserved it."

He could hear Cloud laughing behind the door; it was a bitter sort of laugh. "I'm sure I did. I ... I don't remember it at all."

"You're right, though. I didn't have anything to do with the cadet awards."

Cloud was silent for a long time; the only reason Sephiroth knew he was still there was that he hadn't felt the door shift. Finally, he spoke. "Can I sleep in here tonight?"

"Of course. I'll make sure that no one disturbs you. There are clothes in the wardrobe; you should be able to find some that fit, and there's a bathroom attached. It's even got plumbing."

"Okay, thanks. I think ... I think I need to sleep on this."

"All right." Sephiroth got up so Cloud could stop holding the door up. "If you need anything, I'm just next door. Goodnight."

Sephiroth decided to forgo his evening meal; he didn't much feel like eating, and he didn't want to risk having Cloud come looking for him and not be able to find him. So he returned to his room and stripped off his clothes before crawling into the bed. He lay awake, however, wondering what Cloud was thinking of. He hadn't thought about their time together in years, and looking back made his stomach twist unpleasantly as he thought of what he didn't do.

XXX

Sephiroth smelled blood when he stepped out onto the roof, and he ran around to the far side of the ventilation system where Cloud would always hide until he arrived. "What happened?" he asked as he skidded around the corner and nearly threw himself down next to the boy who was huddled up and crying.

Cloud looked up at him; one of his eyes was swollen shut, and Sephiroth didn't wait to take an account of any other injuries. He knew there were more.

"It's okay," he murmured quietly and gathered Cloud into his arms, shifting him carefully when he bit back a cry of pain. "Let's go get you cleaned up."

Every step he took down the stairs made Cloud whimper. It seemed like an eternity of promising that it was just a little bit further, and Sephiroth was certain that it felt even longer to Cloud. Halfway down, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Cloud?" he murmured softly. "Cloud, I'm going to leave you here and go get my materia."

At that, Cloud started to squirm, ignoring how it was obviously causing him more pain.

"I know," Sephiroth said quickly. "I know you don't want me healing you, but I need to this time. I can't fix this with a bandage and some ice."

"No, please," Cloud started, but Sephiroth set him down.

"No. I'll help you come up with an excuse if somebody asks, but I'm not going to leave you injured like this. I can't believe you even made it up to the roof in your condition. Stay here and wait for me, Cloud. That's an order." He left, feeling somehow like he was being terribly cruel, but knowing that Cloud wouldn't go anywhere, not after he had been ordered to stay.

The elevators were crowded with people who had been staying late, and Sephiroth was glad that he hadn't gone with his first idea of just taking Cloud with him. As it was, he got a few strange looks directed at the blood on his shirt, but nobody said anything. Cloud was exactly where he had left him when he got back, but he was sobbing loudly.

"Please," he begged, "they're going to know."

"No, they won't." Sephiroth knelt beside Cloud and tipped him back so he was lying on the landing. He didn't resist, but he didn't stop begging for him to not do it, either. "You're going to tell anyone who asks that you were in the bathroom trying to clean yourself up when a SOLDIER found you," he said as he pulled up Cloud's shirt to reveal blackened ribs that were most certainly broken. He had a bruise forming on his stomach in the shape of a bootprint and an oozing cut in his side.

"I can't, Sephiroth, please ..."

"You can," Sephiroth said firmly and cast Cura. "He was a Third Class—you didn't get his name, but he had brown hair and a big sword. He decided that you'd be a good person to practice on with his new materia. He didn't care about how you got hurt. Why would a SOLDIER care about a cadet? He just thought it was convenient." He pressed gently on Cloud's torso, making sure everything had healed as it was supposed to, then he turned to Cloud's face and cast his spell on it as well. "Now, where else?"

Cloud grimaced but gave in with a sigh. "My—my knees," he stammered.

"Both?" When Cloud nodded, Sephiroth rolled up his pant legs. It looked like he had fallen hard on them. A quick Cure had them looking much better. "Let's go home. We can flesh out your story a bit more." He pulled Cloud to his feet and straightened his clothes out.

"Wish it was my home," Cloud whispered, fighting back more tears.

"I know ..." Sephiroth hugged him tightly. "I do too."

XXX

Sephiroth scowled at the dark ceiling, hating himself for his inaction. He could have done something. _Anything_ would have been better than coming up with excuse after excuse. He hated himself even more because he knew why he hadn't done anything. He hadn't been sexually attracted to Cloud at that point, but he had wanted him for himself. Cloud might not have wanted to come see him if he wasn't suffering so much.

Instead he had told himself that he was helping by healing Cloud and trying to think of ways he could avoid repercussions. Without, of course, going to anyone in a position of authority about it. At the time, he had honestly believed that it was in Cloud's best interests to spend the night in his bed.

XXX

"It's getting late," Cloud finally murmured in a tone that said he had resigned himself to his fate.

"Stay here tonight, Cloud," Sephiroth said. He could easily see how reluctant he was to return to the barracks. He couldn't blame him, either.

"I don't want to bother you," Cloud protested in a small voice. "You've already done enough."

"It's no bother. You know I like having you here. I'll set my alarm so you have time to get back before you start in the morning. It's not like any of them are going to care that you're missing." His harsh words were what wiped the reluctant look off of Cloud's face.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"No, not at all."

Cloud nodded slowly. "I won't get in your way. I'll just sleep on the couch; I don't need a blanket or anything."

"There's room in my bed." It was such a big bed. Sephiroth had balked at its size when he first moved into the apartment. What was he supposed to do with such a waste of space? Now he had a reason for it. Cloud could easily sleep on one half and he'd never even know he was there.

"Your bed? But ..."

"No buts. Have you seen my bed? It's huge. And you'd be cold sleeping on the couch with no blanket. Come on, let's find you something to wear for pyjamas."

XXX

It had felt like such a tiny thing, and Cloud had been so grateful. He had curled up at the edge of the bed and slept so soundly that Sephiroth had been certain it was the first good night's sleep he had had in months. But he knew that he could have helped Cloud sleep soundly in his _own_ bed if he hadn't been so selfish.

He sighed and rolled over, shutting his eyes. There was no use dwelling on it. He wanted Cloud back—wanted him more than he ever had in the past, and bringing up all of his regrets wouldn't do anything to help that goal.


End file.
